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03/10/2003: Real Ghostbusters: SLIMER GUM?

SLIMER IS A GUM? YES SLIMER IS A GUM. NOT JUST ANY GUM. SLIMY GUM. WHITE, TOOTHPASTE-LIKE GOOP MIXED WITH GLOPPY GREEN STUFF THAT TASTES LIKE CHERRIES. DISGUSTINGLY DELICIOUS SLIMER GUM. SLIMER GUM SLIMER GUM SLIMER GUM.

Recent articles you might’ve missed: Lunchables – Siamese Fighting Fish

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 39 comments

Oh, great. And I thought the taco "meat" was disgusting? You’re killing my stomach here, Matt. You really are.

Ghosted by Jeremy @ 03/10/2003 5:39 PM EST

Still, Slimer gum must be better then Thomas the Tank Engine toothpaste.

Ghosted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 03/10/2003 5:46 PM EST

I’ve actually consumed Slimer gum. Honestly i can’t do justice in describing it. Just start chewing toothpaste, then imagine trying to blow a bubble with it. It was weird tho, you’d have to consume like half the bottle to get a little amount of chewable gum, I dont know where the rest went. Im rambling…

Ghosted by brian @ 03/10/2003 6:00 PM EST

About that fish, don’t those dechlorination drops, you know, neutralize the chlorine in the water? Now I may be wrong, but unless you use well water, changing the tank water every few days won’t do anything to get rid of the chlorine.

Ghosted by Josh @ 03/10/2003 8:33 PM EST

Then my plan is unfolding nicely…

Ghosted by Matt @ 03/10/2003 8:50 PM EST

Slimer gum was pretty good, althought not that elastic cause I remember swallowing some.

Ghosted by Basic @ 03/10/2003 9:00 PM EST

Here the tap water will immediately kill your pets because it contains chloramine. It’s safe for people though, yeah right.

Ghosted by ftjbngk @ 03/10/2003 9:57 PM EST

Hey, you know, bettas are living creatures too, and you should take care of them…how would you like it if someone kept you in a teeny little space and let you die cause you’re "replaceable"?
Hmmmmmm?
Tsk, tsk.

Ghosted by mypetmonster @ 03/10/2003 10:10 PM EST

Yup, definitely should’ve put the ‘I’m kidding’ disclaimer on that one.

Ghosted by Matt @ 03/10/2003 10:12 PM EST

First, I want to mention that I worked in pet stores for over 9 years (4 in a Petland! Ewww.) and I never tired of hearing the complaints about Betta splendens in little cups. So I did actual research–in the wild, the males will stake territories in ANY body of water, including water-filled hoofprints. If it dries up, they flop around until they find another (which of course explains the conspecific aggression–during breeding, females often kill males that hang around too long). This means that A) the hexagon mini tank in use is perfectly acceptable, even huge by natural standards and B) given enough plants and space (>>25 gallons) more than one male betta can coexist (until every other fish realizes there is a long fin buffet–bettas are only tough against each other and little bite-size fish).

As for the pacu problem. YOU GOT TAKEN!! The pacu is a classic aquarium nightmare–they look okay, they aren’t too expensive, and they’re easy to keep. And they get FOUR FEET LONG (it’s like those redtail catfish–buy them cheap at 3 inches long, kill them to get your Rottweiler back).

I might suggest Oscars or arrowanas (these last ones could cost a bit) as companions if you ever get around to cleaning the tank. Or look into bichirs(Polypterus). My favourite fish, some of them grow to 3 feet (good luck in captivity). They rule–a row of spines across the back, fleshy arms for pectoral fins (like early amphibians), armour plating, shiny night eyes, nose tubes like moray eels, and they HAVE to breathe air with real lungs, so water quality means nothing (trust me, there have been times where sewage treatment facilities are cleaner than my tanks have been). And loads of attitude–ust watch the sizes, I had to donate my three biggest ones (14" to 24") to a natural history museum. Yup, they came from dinosaur times. Everyone should have them.

Ghosted by HyaenoDon @ 03/10/2003 10:39 PM EST

Wait a second. Matt, that tank you keep the pacu in? Wasn’t that the same tank you poured the ten-year-old Fruity Bubble Gum Hi-C in to raise the Ph level?

Ghosted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 03/10/2003 11:57 PM EST

I always thought they were Chinese fighting fish, guess we use different names in Chicago. Well, whatever…

Ghosted by Mark @ 03/11/2003 3:06 AM EST

I remember getting that gum ONCE before. It was horrible, the only other candy I could compare it to in the revulsion factor is those huge red squeeze tubes of liquid something or other. Liquid arsenic perhaps?
As far as weird pets go, I am a Marine stationed in Japan and they have monkeys for sale for a grand. I luv monkeys…

Ghosted by brite @ 03/11/2003 7:57 AM EST

DUDE. I had some of that… tasted good, too. I can’t believe my mom and dad let me have that stuff (they’re both dentists). I think I actually attempted to brush my teeth with the stuff once, but I didn’t get very far.

It should be noted that on several occasions I actually ate toothpaste from the tube O_o

Wow, X-E is an open floodgate of bittersweet memory and nostalgic feeling ;P

Ghosted by Night_Trekker @ 03/11/2003 8:27 AM EST

Hey Matt, fish story you might (or might not o_o) like:

One of my good friends in high school had an aquarium full of fish. He loved them and took good care of them. I think he said he was in Walmart in the fish section when he bought a new fish (because it was cheap, I think). I’ll describe what little I can of it in a moment.

Buying the fish turned out to be a bad thing. One by one his other pet fish started to disappear, taken by the mysterious black fish. Most of the time it hid in the fake rocks he had at the bottom of the aquarium, but it came out to… duh-duh-DUH! feed.

Here’s why I remember this story: pissed off at the loss of his fish (he bought more, I suppose different types, but the black fish always ate them), my friend one day plucked the fish from the tank by its tail and thumped it in the head one solid time. Now I still don’t think that’s funny, really- I can’t stand cruelty to animals in any form- but I got a kick out of this: the fish HISSED at him, and he dropped the thing back into the tank in fear

Alledgedly this fish made the hissing noise by rubbings its fins together. Do you have any idea what type of fish this could have been?

Ghosted by Night_Trekker @ 03/11/2003 8:38 AM EST

I remember when I was about 5, I had the coolest fish. It was red, and purple, and awesome looking. Then, I remember one day we had a few people (read: 20) over for lunch, and I scream bloody murder from my room. Everyone runs in and asks me what the hell happened. I was sitting there, just WATCHING the fish, when it suddenly…popped. It just exploded. The thing was, my cousin had the same excact kind of fish, and it exploded like a week later. Never even thought about looking into it, I think I will now though.

Ghosted by Psychosis555 @ 03/11/2003 9:22 AM EST

I responded directly, but I’m also gonna post here quickly about the mystery black fish.
Probably a Clarias catfish (which make noise by burping) or a Doradid catfish (which use spines on their sides and pectorals to make scraping noises and tear up fingers and attackers).

Both have pretty big mouths, are black or dark in colour, like to hide, and are usually pretty cheap.

Ghosted by HyaenoDon @ 03/11/2003 10:23 AM EST

I remember that gum. I got it ONCE. The tube broke and it got all over the place, and my parents never let me get it again.

Ghosted by Casey Jones @ 03/11/2003 10:46 AM EST

Dammit, Matt, WRITE A NOVEL, for God’s sake. You’ve got talents of writing that go beyond belief. The Siamese Fighting Fish article could have been 3 sentences long (My Pacu fish is in some disgusting tank (I don’t like it, so it deserves it, but I can’t live with the filthy tank), so I went out to Petworld to get some tank cleaner. While I was there, I saw these cheap fish called Betta than don’t need alot of space for under ten bucks (I ended up picking the scraggy one, but it’s OK now). It gets 7/10), but you took the most docile of subjects (a trip to the petstore) and turned it into a mini novel.

I even advised my English teacher to take a look at the Hulk Hands and Skeletor Meets Pee-Wee articles, and she agrees with me. WRITE A DAMN BOOK.

…

But don’t abandon X-E. I can’t afford THAT many books.

Curt
http://www.geocities.com/mrtsightings

Ghosted by Curt J Kohen @ 03/11/2003 11:47 AM EST

Your photo-editing skills have really improved lately. Oh, and the gum picture is pretty nasty. Perhaps an article in the future with all the putrid details? It can’t be as bad as Nads…

Ghosted by Sargasm @ 03/11/2003 12:49 PM EST

Am I the only one that thinks that "Termors Series" advertisement looks REALLY cheesy. Looks like it is suposed to be a B movie type quality.

Ghosted by Mindsuckr @ 03/11/2003 1:02 PM EST

i have a betta fish…his name is matt mason and he is 3-4 years old. i got him b/c i was jealous of my health teachers fish. he got his name from the toy that inspired colorform aliens/outerspace men, you may want to check that out x-e matt

Ghosted by kennef @ 03/11/2003 2:02 PM EST

hey matt,
is your chinchilla still alive?

Ghosted by Azriel Sin @ 03/11/2003 2:03 PM EST

The chinchilla’s alive and well. I’d reccomend them to anyone – they’re really easy to take care of and they’re probably one of the most docile pets available.

Ghosted by Matt @ 03/11/2003 2:05 PM EST

I was thinking about buying one after reading your article about them. Haven’t got around to it, and I can’t till I see wheter or not my 2 dogs can stay here.

Ghosted by Psychosis555 @ 03/11/2003 2:38 PM EST

just wondering, when you were looking at the chinchilla, did you also look at the sugar gliders? I think those thigns are the coolest, but I hear they are hell to take care of

Ghosted by chad @ 03/11/2003 2:44 PM EST

Le poisson est comme les pommes de terre habitant mouillées. L’amour est exigé battre le moule de poisson. Vous seriez sage pour moissonner le slime vert quand le Beta dort et le vend sur Ebay.

Ghosted by msa @ 03/11/2003 2:53 PM EST

according to my french translator, he just said:

The fish is as the potatoes inhabitants wet. Love is demanded to beat the grinds fish. You are wise to harvest the green slime when the Beta sleeps and the sells on Ebay.

Ghosted by chad @ 03/11/2003 2:55 PM EST

hyaenodon, come check out http://predatoryfish.net/forums . i mod there, lots of polypterus owners, including myself (10" p. lapradei).

to the other comments i saw, changing water has nothing to do with chlorine removal. changing water removes water that is filled with nitrates, the end result of your nitrogen cycle, which is what keeps the fish’s urine from burning it’s gills and eyes out. so you remove that and add fresh tap or filtered water. and the new dechlorinatorinating products usually treat for chloramine now too, it will mention on the bottle if it does. and sorry for turning this into a fish discussion palace.

Ghosted by nick @ 03/11/2003 3:32 PM EST

i bought these 2 fish, can’t remember what kind, but they were really pretty. so i put them in the tank w/ the other fish (sevrums), and all was fine. one day we notice one orange fishy’s tummy was all swollen! a few days later, there were baby microscopic fishies floating around the fishtank. the parents attacked every other fish to keep them away from their precious younguns, then turned around and ate them all themselves! greedy greedy fishies… needless to say, i had to return them to the pet store b/c they wouldnt stop having babies!

Ghosted by Ashley @ 03/11/2003 3:55 PM EST

Even though I knew you were kidding Matt, that article still made me cringe. If I had my way, you’d never cover any "pet fads", because I hate the idea of getting pets just because they’re cool or rare or the latest thing. Sorry to get serious. Can’t we all come together in a spirit of making fun of breakfast cereals?

Ghosted by Welsh Rabbit @ 03/11/2003 8:09 PM EST

Slimer Gum. gag a maggot, that’s nasty. how can that goo become chewable gum? the wonders of technology…

here’s another wonder of technology: a giant Cheeto~!
http://www.cnn.com/2003/TECH/internet/03/05/offbeat.big.cheeto/index.html

Ghosted by zann @ 03/11/2003 9:11 PM EST

nick:
Hey, one of the ones I had was a lapradei! It was my little one (about 12-14 inches). The others were a 16-18" ornatipinnis and a 20-24" endlicheri congicus. Like I said, my living situation meant smaller tanks, so they went to the Tyrell Museum in Drumheller, Alberta, and all I have now is a 8" palmas and a 5" delhezi. Thanks for the forum tip.

Ghosted by HyaenoDon @ 03/11/2003 11:43 PM EST

Okay, two questions for Matt:

1) Did the chinchilla get a sex change operation? It used to be a female, but now we’re told that "he’s still alive, I promise"? Bullshit. You killed it and got a new, more masculine chinchilla, didn’t you? Murderer.

2) Now that the "Army of Darkness: Boomstick Edition" is out on DVD, any chance of finishing off the trilogy, review-wise? Give us some sugar, baby.

-D

Ghosted by The Lucky One @ 03/12/2003 10:00 AM EST

When I was about 12 I had a gold fish named corey haim, he thrived until I brought corey feldman into his bowl. True, but sad, story of my childhood.

Ghosted by t-rah @ 03/12/2003 12:52 PM EST

Admittedly, I should have brought this up in the Skeletor vs. Kinnikuman update, but it only just dawned on me…

was it ever explained how Skeletor got back to being Skeletor after becoming the green alien clock thing? And was it ever explained how he lost his shirt in the first place?

Oh well. One of the mysteries that’s for Matt to know and for us never to find out.

Curt
http://www.geocities.com/mrtsightings

Ghosted by Curt J. Kohen @ 03/12/2003 2:54 PM EST

congratulations, matt. xe is now the number one result on google for ’slimer gum’.

surprisingly enough, it’s from a differnt article.

Ghosted by evin @ 03/12/2003 2:57 PM EST

do you have the gum? do they still make it? if so please let me know where i could buy some. thanks.

Ghosted by josh @ 09/17/2006 5:23 PM EDT

Hey where can I get some of that?!

Ghosted by Zach @ 01/11/2009 12:37 AM EST

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