X-Entertainment's Christmas Season & Advent Calendar, 2008.

02/14/2003: tease.

Nyah nyah nyah.

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 20 comments

Are those the Mare inninghams…devouring Santa Claus? Geez…she really was a brat…

Posted by Ubu Rex @ 02/14/2003 6:01 PM EST

i saw the box to the advent calander at the store…it ruined matts reveiw for me…it’ll never be the same…i knew the future. dang.

Posted by kenneth @ 02/14/2003 6:31 PM EST

Matt, why do you have to be so cryptic. I want to see the advent calender, or not whatever.

Posted by Mark @ 02/14/2003 7:37 PM EST

The blonde one looks like she’s giving Santa a blowjob. No, the other blonde one. Now, if you excuse me, I must be eating sap.

Posted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 02/14/2003 11:21 PM EST

please dude. please. just finish the advent calendar. it was starting to get really good. i want to see where it ended up. anymore sheep?? more lanterns?? more mare winninghams?? something entirely new?? cmon dude, just do the last 3 days for crying out loud.

Posted by TheGreatJC @ 02/14/2003 11:46 PM EST

I don’t get it… why’s he teasing us with fuzzy images of his Advent calendar in the middle of fricking February? Isn’t it about 9 1/2 months too early for anyone to start caring about Advent calendars (excluding Advent calendar artists)?

Before Christmas, I was looking at some Advent calendars in the supermarket… but they were all squares, and in order!!! What’s the deal with that? The thing that’s most fun about Advent calendars are the irregular-shaped "doors" hidden in random order in the image. They’ve really been dumbed-down since I was a kid, I think.

Posted by Steve Brandon @ 02/15/2003 1:07 AM EST

Actually, that wasn’t a run-on sentence, these are. Thomas’s sentence was pretty wordy (and neat), but grammatically sound (with respect to run-on sentence..iness anyway), run-on sentences are not as cool and are much more obvious. Run-on sentences typically involve comma splices, they have two independent clauses connected only by a comma. I think Dickens wrote a 50 page sentence that was perfectly acceptable, grammatically speaking, because long sentences are very spiffy, run-on sentences are lame.

You have no idea how difficult it was for me to write the above.

Posted by Wes @ 02/15/2003 1:15 AM EST

Actually I pride myself on grammatical correctness, especially in internet dealings (d00d u r teh kingo f l33t speling lolololol) so that fact that I can’t make a run-on even when I try is either very good or very sad.

Also, someone needs to add some spice to the discussion before we start debating the validity of political correctness in pronouns. Help me. I’m boring.

Posted by Thomas Bombadil @ 02/15/2003 2:23 AM EST

People don’t realize how easy it is to make a run-on sentence; all you really need to do is insert a couple of semi-colons; or is that considered cheating?

Posted by Steve Brandon @ 02/15/2003 3:12 AM EST

someonwe please tell me how to see what there already is of the calendar, please and ill be your best mate.

ooh and that long sentence was cool.

Posted by tin man @ 02/15/2003 8:00 AM EST

Tin man: http://x-entertainment.com/xmassy/

Posted by Matt @ 02/15/2003 9:42 AM EST

Man, Matt’s dangling this advent calendar in front of your collective nose like the proverbial delicious carrot that it is. First it’s teaser pictures, next it’s going to be "I’ll finish the advent calendar if…" So it will quickly progress until he’s eventually sitting in a gilded throne atop a giant pile of bones wearing spiderman underoos and full Lazer Tag equipment while mohawked freaks on motorbikes like the ones in Fist of the North Star with the guns that shoot army knives drive around doing his evil bidding in the hopes that ONE GLORIOUS DAY he will reveal the finished advent calendar. But I know better. By that time I’ll be in Mexico with a bottle of Jack and two swingin’ ladies, saluting Matt’s nefarious master plan all the while.

There’s no really graceful way to end that.

p.s. - Run-on sentences rule.

Posted by Thomas Bombadil @ 02/15/2003 12:36 PM EST

Run-on sentences…

I have to try really hard to remember how annoying they can be while writing these articles. I don’t think I’m too bad with it anymore, but if you go back a bit, you’ll find sentences that seem to drag on even when there’s a paragraph break.

And I still don’t know how to use "its" and "it’s" 100% correctly.

Posted by Matt @ 02/15/2003 1:34 PM EST

I agree with Christopher Walken. One time on Conan O’Brien, he explained how he does not believe in punctuation, and that does help explain his way of speech.

Posted by Reggie @ 02/15/2003 3:38 PM EST

It seems people here like Advent or calendars or something. Well, here is an easy solution in 9 easy steps:

1. Click here.

2. Buy it.

3. Pay for it.

4. Wait for the calendar to arrive

5. Continue to wait for the calendar to arrive

6. Continue to wait for the calendar to arrive

7. Continue to wait for the calendar to arrive

8. Even more waiting. Be patient, it will arrive (The way-yate-ing is the hardest part).

9. Pretend you are "Matt" (which can include and is not limited to dying of the hair, gaining of an appreciation for "animalia", learning to use the word "fuck" 193 times per paragraph, and some other stuff, I guess) with your very own 3 year old My Little Pony themed chocolate Advent calendar.

/mmmmm, old chocolate….

Posted by Gary Coleman is teh r0x0r!!1! @ 02/15/2003 7:49 PM EST

I think you’ve exaggerated the fuck count by five or so, but otherwise seems like a good plan.

Posted by Matt @ 02/15/2003 9:20 PM EST

Hmmmmm what’s the opposite of advent??? Will there be an *opposite of advent* calendar for Easter?

Posted by outsider @ 02/16/2003 4:52 AM EST

It’s easy to know when to use "it’s" and when to use "its"!

"It’s" is a contraction of "It is" or, very, very rarely, "It has". "Its" is a possessive pronoun that is the equivalent of "his" or "her" except for genderless things.

Posted by Steve Brandon @ 02/16/2003 12:13 PM EST

Oh, okay, now I get the whole point of the Advent calendar thingie… now I’m anxious to see what will be in box #24! Will it be Santa/Father Christmas? Will it be Jesus? Or, since Playmobil’s from Germany, are they going to go all weird on us and have "Black Peter" or whatever the fuck it is they have over there?

Posted by Steve Brandon @ 02/16/2003 12:25 PM EST

Matt: just remember that "it’s" is short for "it is", and that’s the only time you should ever use the apostraphe. If you want to use it in its possessive form, there’s no apostraphe - just like that. It’s good that you realised that you have a problem and have sought help.

Posted by Joanna @ 02/18/2003 8:42 PM EST

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