If you're wondering why there was no new article yesterday - I was in the city to cover the Lord of the Rings premiere for The Two Towers. Pretty fun all in all, but I'm pretty sure I don't have feet anymore because of the cold. We had our biggest snowstorm in a long time here yesterday, and while all traffic reports suggested staying the fuck indoors unless absolutely necessary to go out, New Line felt that the show must go on.

The report, which is mostly pictures, should be up on UGO late this afternoon. Meantime, click 'more' for a scan of the wondrous tip sheet given to the press before the stupid star arrivals.

Edit: It's up. Read all about it here.
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New Article: I thought I was lucky to find this one - now I'm not so sure. In 1994, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles found themselves thrown into the most insipid Christmas special ever, complete with a zombified Splinter and a lot of scenes featuring yo-yos. It's Christmas With The Turtles, and it's the latest X-E holiday-themed review. Not at all like what you might expect - though there's been other live-action TMNT shows and movies, they've never appeared quite like this. Which is to say, they've never appeared completely and totally shitty beyond belief. I still love them, but this is definitely a faith-killer. That goes for God, too. Click here to read it! Just don't actually go out and watch it. Big mistake.

Kay Bee was selling Pokemon figures on clearance, and after finding a Bulbasaur I didn't own, there was no resisting. Actually, I've kinda lost track of the Pokemon craze - I couldn't bare watching it anymore when they began rotating the classic creatures out in favor of the 150 new jerks from the Gold and Silver games. I know why they did it, but I don't like going to sleep at night knowing that Squirtle isn't trapped in a ball on Ash's belt anymore. It makes me sad.

This particular Bulba might be the best ever - it's a figure that attaches to a Pokeball launching device. If Bulbasaur gets hit, his eyes roll back, displaying knockout lines instead of pupils. Also, when you shoot the thing, Bulbasaur lets out an electronic battle cry. It doesn't exactly sound like him, but I guess it's better than having a figure that doesn't say anything at all.

I also picked up the Pikachu figure, just because my Bulba needed a Pokemon's ass to kick. There's been zillions of toys to come out of the Pokemon franchise, but I'd say these are easily the best. Really detailed and poised, larger than usual, and as an extra special added bonus, the package is written in three different languages. I never knew how to say 'electronic attack sounds' in Spanish before. Now I do. 'Sons d'attaque electroniques!' Or is that French? Ah who the fuck cares.

Careful.
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If I could just do articles like these and only these for the rest of my life, I'd be pretty happy. Click here to read about Santa Claus' attempts to make Jiffy Pop. Co-starring Metroplex.