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Thrift Store Finds II – Christmas Edition Blah.

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Posted by Matt on 11/23/2002. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 72 comments

I used to work at Target. In the stockroom, we had tons of ornament boxes. Half the stock always had broken ones, so we’d open them up in the stock room and throw them around. The ornaments would shatter into thousands of shards. Good times.

Chestnuts roasted by gall0wsp0le @ 11/24/2002 2:20 PM

GAH, the little donkey Jesus nativity scene.

When I was in grammer school, every Christmas they’d hand those things out to all the kids, sicne it was a Catholic school. One class at a time, you’d go down to the library to meet Santa (one of the preists dressed like him), and you’d shake his hand and he’d give you this wrapped box, and it was ALWAYS that stupid nativiy scene. Even if you didn’t open the box itself to check it out, by the time you got back to class you were covered in more glitter than Jessica Rabbit. The teachers would make us dump out the boxes before you went back into the classroom just to keep the glitter from getting everywhere.

I think by the time I graduated though, they learned their lesson and switched over to little white angel orniments with no glitter.

Chestnuts roasted by Lim @ 11/24/2002 3:37 PM

Ahhh, here comes Christmas. This will be my first X-mas away from home…alas I will be in Boot Camp. I miss this crap. I miss those old ornaments that my grandmother put up that I was’t allowed anywhere near, and hey to this day I can’t go near ‘em. I could make an easy grand if I sold all that stuff… Oh well, I’ll be celebrating this year by doing push-ups and sit-ups… HOORAH

Chestnuts roasted by Ryan the Sailor Man @ 11/24/2002 9:02 PM

damn cats, they keep stealing the peanut butter from my pants…uh…hey…anybody wanna join a cult?

Chestnuts roasted by peanutbutterf etish @ 11/24/2002 9:09 PM

My family has the cheesiest Nativity set ever, and I would be tramautized if anything happened to it because it’s been around my whole childhood.

It’s from Mexico, 2 baby Jesus’s, no Mary, a random women with a purple dress, blue tights and a sunhat, and the 3 wisemen that are matadors and singing into wire microphones?!?

My favorite part is a Friar that has a crucifix even though Jesus is a baby and hasn’t been crucified yet.

Chestnuts roasted by Lindsey K @ 11/24/2002 10:01 PM

Lindsey K.

It’s always good to plan ahead.

Chestnuts roasted by Nemesis @ 11/25/2002 4:41 AM

I dunno dude. I looked up your bubble lights on ebay and most of them were only going for between 7 and 20 bucks! The in box mint ones were still only fetching between 40 and 50. But I guess if you only paid a buck it’s still pretty sweet.

Chestnuts roasted by Karlo @ 11/25/2002 6:01 AM

Matt, I like the festive pictures because we have the same IKEA entertainment center and it reminds me why I don’t let my girlfriend put ALL of her crap on it.

Chestnuts roasted by Ahrohbeebee @ 11/25/2002 9:48 AM

Matt you are fucking hot! (I just thought you would like to know! :P )
Also, my mom goes crazy with Christmas crap and we have a tiny little house, so it kinda looks like your place!

Chestnuts roasted by Pararu @ 11/25/2002 10:31 AM

I would make some kind of garland with that box of misc. trinkets. Just for year round fun. Same reason why I have purple lights all over the place and it’s Halloween every single day of the year in my bedroom.

Chestnuts roasted by Lauren @ 11/25/2002 11:58 AM

i don’t have any cool vintage christmas ornaments. no bubble lights, no satanic st. nick figurines, no blasphemous nativity scenes. but….i do have one creation that is very special to me. it is: the ONLY african-american light-up santa i’ve ever seen! standing about three feet tall, it plugs into the wall, and with its special…uhm…"ethnic" glow, the good people at Kmart pose the question, "who says santa has to be white?!"

…ok, so, really, its not that impressive. try as i might, Black Santa just isn’t as cool as Devil Murderer Alien Santa. but, i’ve never seen another santa like him (and trust me, i’ve gone through many a Kmart in search of another ethnic santa). and, if you want to see pictures of The Man Himself, you can check out my homepage…it has a game called "Find Black Santa." its the only time I’VE ever seen santa speaking in really, really poor, totally-obvious-that-some-dumb-white-kid-knows-nothing-about-the-ghetto-except-that-rappers-are-from-there ebonics.

Chestnuts roasted by Jeff @ 11/25/2002 12:16 PM

AFTER YOU BREAK THE CAT’S NECK, WILL YOU TAKE PICTURES AND DO AN ARTICLE ABOUT IT??? J/K- I LOVE CATS, BUT COME CHRISTMAS TIME, KILLING CATS IS A FAIR GAME…..

Chestnuts roasted by ranae @ 11/25/2002 1:35 PM

You know, the only Christmas thing that I have is a little black Santa, but he’s actually some kind of Kwanzaa figure. I have a little plastic snake draped around his neck, and since I lost the card that came with him that explained what saint he was and how he symbolized Kwanzaa, I changed his name to Horsecock Willy. What that has to do with X-mas I have no idea.

Chestnuts roasted by Jeremy @ 11/25/2002 3:24 PM

My grandmother has THE best nativity scene ever simply due to the fact all the figures have just been thrown together. It contains the following: Jesus, Mary, Joseph, five wise men, three camels, seven angels, Santa Clause,a kid throwing snowballs, a little school girl, donkey, and best of all…A TROLL!! Its great not only due to its randomness, but also because the figures are from different eras. The kids are at least 50 years old, while the the other pieces range from the 60′s to whatever time trolls came out. If I wasn’t a an idiot, I’d send a picture.

Chestnuts roasted by Caingnazzio @ 11/25/2002 3:28 PM

i lub this storie.

Chestnuts roasted by wack0 @ 11/25/2002 4:38 PM

I have a suggestion for using the misc. trinket toys – perhaps you could cut the figures up and randomly splice the figures back together to make a hybrid devil army? A naked baby with Santa’s head, an old lady with teddy bear arms and duck heads for feet? I have a collection of plastic horses I intend to do this to, so we could make our mutant armies fight to the plastic death. Or something.

Chestnuts roasted by cARDbOaRD DEaD bOY @ 11/25/2002 7:13 PM

cARDbOaRD DEaD bOY

You rock. What looks really cool though is putting MAn At Arms’ head on his ass. That way at least he looks like he should.

Chestnuts roasted by Nemesis @ 11/25/2002 8:23 PM

Matt,

I have thrift store madness too, but I also have "I work at a library and people donate stuff" madness. I get books, CDs, tapes, records and videos. Someone donated a video just now that is labeled "Transformers II." If you are interested, and it IS actually Transformer stuff, let me know if you want it. Also are two blank tapes with no labels at all. I’m hoping for hardcore amateur porn.

Cheers,

Chestnuts roasted by Nemesis @ 11/25/2002 8:31 PM

At the Target I work at we just send the broken bulbs back or something. I dunno. I’ve been there over four years and all I know is that everyone likes to yell at me and push me into the trash compactor. But I know they’re only foolin’ with me and I always get out just in time.

P.S. – Flocked bunnies are essential for any happy home and an important part of a balanced breakfast. Well, along with Internet porn. And trolls. And donkeys. And everyone needs more horsecock. Yes, yes.

Chestnuts roasted by Al @ 11/26/2002 6:06 AM

Matt, my mom is just as psychotic, if not moreso than you with decoratioins. She dresses my cats up with little Santa outfits. Last year, she even got a mini Santa outfit for my fuckin turtle. I don’t know about you people, but it was the first time I ever heard of someone dressing a pet turtle up as Santa.
P.S-I’m still workin on the cure for comulsive buying.

Chestnuts roasted by Tim @ 11/26/2002 12:36 PM

I adore nativity scenes. I have a thoroughly unhealthy obsession with them.

My favourite, however, would have to be my stepmom’s. Baby Jesus is a fucking toddler, at least a year and half old. The theory is that Mary and Joseph really liked the damn barn. Also, they were waiting for presents, and it took the Wise Men a really long time to get to Bethlehem.

The other thing we love about it is the shepherds. They’re 17th century shepherds with cherubic, androgynus faces and curly yellow hair, fancy, fluttery clothes and little white slippers, and one them I’m prepared to swear is actually a girl, and she doesn’t look prepared to go running about a field full of sheep turds. The other is about an inch shorter than everyone else, so maybe he’s from another set. The shepherds are in possession of three or four sheep and what is undeniably a goat.

But Caingnazzio? Your grandmother has the best one I’ve ever heard of. I am in awe of her.

Chestnuts roasted by Sundragyn @ 11/26/2002 12:45 PM

I think there should be a national cat killin’ holiday. And it should be done soon, before they take over the government.

Chestnuts roasted by the dog @ 11/26/2002 1:23 PM

Can i please have the pink bunny from the trinket box? i like pink.

Chestnuts roasted by Cara @ 11/26/2002 9:39 PM

man, what I wouldn’t give for one of those fruit…thingies.

Chestnuts roasted by tacotaco @ 11/26/2002 10:52 PM

I had a friend whom hung plastic fruit on her Christmas tree. That is, until we buried it in the backyard. Fruit does not belong on a Christmas tree, nothing pertaining to food belongs on a Christmas tree. Not even those blasted candy canes, for serious.

Chestnuts roasted by Banger @ 11/26/2002 11:19 PM

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This entry was posted on Saturday, November 23rd, 2002 at 12:26 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.