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Reader Mail, Volume 2023020

Click 'more' to see the latest batch of reader mail, with the topics ranging on everything from the Incredible Hulk to potatoes. On deck is an episode review of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - it's actually one I already reviewed, but it was originally done in July of 2000, and it really sucks. I don't usually like redoing anything I've written about, but this is too good of an episode to pass up on just because I once scribbled three-hundred cursewords about it. It'll be up later today. Now, the questions!

Some more questions from X-E readers, answered as quickly as possible. If you have any inquiries you'd like to see up here, just shoot me an e-mail.

Chaos writes: I have seen the Worst Witch movie four times, while I was not sick or drugged...seriously, my school felt the need to play the thing to me four freaking times. With that said you can understand why I found your worst witch article so hilarious/disturbingly graphic, it drudged up some old trauma that I would have preferred remained buried. However, and I have no idea if anyone has let you in on this yet, but here in Canada, there is an actual worst witch television series, based solely on the material presented in the worst witch motion picture. There is no Tim Curry, and I think the majority of the cast is different, but the production costs are, well, you know the evil dead prequel? Think that, only with maybe an extra twenty bucks. Thought it was my duty to alarm you of this, do what you wish with this information, but use caution, for this shit is horrifically bad.

REPLY: I've gotten boatloads of e-mail over the years about The Worst Witch television series - it really, really sucks, but not in the same fun and cheesy way as the movie. Without Tim Curry wearing the pride hang glider and without Mrs. Garrett wearing a pink wig, there's just no reason to watch it. (read the Worst Witch article here.

Lindsey writes: I was looking at your forum and I read the old 'Flibber's article after someone thought you wrote the book yourself. I can't believe it! I used to have that book and the projects NEVER worked. My damn flibbers were always just shredded up newspaper. They had a project in there that said you could grow a jungle in your room out of a potato and I was naive enough to believe them. It just sprouted and made my room smell.

REPLY: Ha, I tried that 'craft' too. My potato didn't spawn a jungle, but it did turn black and blue. So at least the directions were good if you're ever making an art film about a married pair of potatoes with an abusive husband potato. Potatoes. Potatoes. (read the original review here.

Jason writes: I only recently (couple of months ago) came across your site and have thoroughly enjoyed it! What I enjoy most is that I've actually come across a lot of the stuff you review even before finding your site! I have had a friend that's addicted to Kinder eggs and gets them in Canada on a regular basis. Her ONLY reason for going. That and growing up in the era that most your reviewed items hail from sometimes brings back memories that I just don't need. . . The things I grew up playing with or eating. The things I still have laying around haunting my junk drawer (damn M.U.S.C.L.E guys are still with me and at times I think they're plotting revenge for allowing my Stormtroopers and AT AT drivers to play "kick the baby" with them...)

Anyhoo, I came across this today actually and it is just disturbing the unholy crap out of me. The freakish thing's mesmerizing for some reason. You see, my big thing growing up, and to some degree now still, were comic book based action figures. Mostly, they never were very good, but still got lots of play. I'm picky about my comics, but not the toys. I love 'em. The picture is a prototype for the new Hulk figures they're making for the new movie. Now, its just my opinion, but I do believe this is the scariest toy I have ever seen! And my sister collected Strawberry Shortcake mercilessly. What's scarier. . . I don't want the finished toy. I want this prototype. I can't explain it either; call it morbid fascination, sleep depravation, or that all my action figures ended up with mixed parts anyways and this one COMES THAT WAY! Well, they say a picture is worth a thousand word (or however long this email is). Keep up the awesome job on X Entertainment, here's the picture:

REPLY: Looks pretty nice, actually. I'm not looking forward to the Hulk movie at the same level I was with Spider-Man or X-Men, but I'm sure I'll still be there on opening night. I think Hulk would have to be a tougher project to make 'hip' - my hunch is that they're gonna make it even more tongue-in-cheek than Spider-Man. Otherwise, it could come off pretty poorly. In any event, as for your new favorite figure - I've always wondered if toy sculptors become embarrassed when they get to the figure's groin section. Maybe we should ask the Four Horsemen?

Mike writes: (On National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation...) Hi Matt, We have been fans of this movie forever...we watch it each Christmas day and every time I get together with my sister and nephew Matt, even in the summer...when my children were small and my in-laws did not know of the movie I asked my daughter, then just nine, to say grace at the big Thanksgiving dinner, and we went from there...it was hilarious...we decorate the house like Clark, we kick our Santa, we even have a Santa kicking contest, we say, "Real nice" all year long...and on and on....anyway, I found and ordered eight of the moose mugs this year, they should arrive today, and my sister and nephew are coming for Christmas this year for the first time, from Mass. to Okla.,and I want to surprise everyone with the moose mugs and give myself, my son, age 23 and my nephew, age 19, Eddie clothes to wear on Christmas day...I found a place to order the black dickies...I figure I can get the white shoes at a Tux shop...but I don't know where or how I'm going to get the light blue polyester pants and I'm having no luck yet getting the white v-neck sweaters, even Land's End doesn't have that kind of a sweater, so you can see, I need your help...if you know where I can get the pants and the sweaters, please let me know...

REPLY: How would I know where to buy sweaters like the ones Randy Quaid wore in a Christmas movie from 1990? Actually, I do know. But I won't tell you unless you send me a moose mug. I love those things.

Kevin writes: I was reading your review for Basket Case, and I noticed two things were, well, wrong. For one, in the tenth paragraph, you refer to Duane as 'Kevin,'
and for another, in the 'dead body rape' scene pics, you clearly TRIED to cover up the nipples, but missed by about a mile. My question is, HOW THE HELL TO MISS WHERE THE NIPPLES ARE???? Not that I mind, I've seen worse... but, still, it woke me up a little. Now, you're probably not going to fix it, so why did I write to you? Because I want to spam your mail box. Good day.

REPLY: Whoops. I'm pretty sure that's the only nipple shot on X-E, if you discount Hulk Hogan. I'm not sure how I missed them. Maybe it was subconsciously intentional. Porn sells. Even if half the mating party is a puppet of a disfigured Siamese twin. Somebody's gotta have that fetish.

Dan writes: I liked you're summing up on the Daphne Zuniga science fiction monster follow up to THE FLY. My question is: If you've done you're own review of the sequel, then are you making a review of the Goldblum film?

REPLY: I really love both Fly movies - I chose the second for a review because I assumed more people haven't seen it and would thus be a little curious. The difference between the two is that the sequel was an entertaining bad movie, while the first was an entertaining good movie. I own both, so I could review The Fly at any time. I'm sure I will one day, but that's the kind of movie I really want to be on my game for if I'm writing about it. I'd hate to do a shitty review on such a modern horror classic. Everything I'm saying here is bullshit, of course. I just don't want to watch Jeff Goldblum vomit on a Twinkie ever again. (read the Fly II review here.

Naomi writes: I have been an avid fan of X-E for 3 months now; it has rekindled long forgotten memories about aspects of my childhood, plus it is the most interesting site I have ever seen. Keep up the great work and thank you for bringing a humorous, interesting, and all around wonderful site to the net. I have a question for you regarding a television show that originated in the mid 80s amongst the Nintendo hullabaloo. I can vaguely remember the credits. It is a young boy playing his Nintendo when something happens that causes him to go into the "Nintendo" world. I remember the episodes revolved around certain set Nintendo characters with others from the other games having guest appearances. The part I remember most was the huge talking
gameboy that accompanied the main character through his exploits. I know you must get a barrage of emails of day, but if there is any chance you can clear this up I'd appreciate it.

REPLY: Finally, an easy one. That'd be Captain N: The Game Master. Characters from a lot of games appeared - Kid Icarus, Punch-Out, Metroid, you name it. Here, check this article out - it's got Captain N teaming up with Link and Zelda - click here.

Steph writes: I didn't think your comic was too bad. I'd say you could do worse. But then I'm pretty biased towards anything involving the Silver Surfer.

REPLY: I told you guys not to challenge me - I can surely do worse.


See?

Tricia writes: I just had to mail, I saw an advert for NADS on a shopping channel - yes u got it I have no life - I missed the telephone number so went on the net to see if I could find it. Your page made me pee myself laughing - BUT does it work?

REPLY: Making people urinate is definitely the opus. As for your question - I didn't like wax myself or anything, but I'd have to say that this is a pretty poor product. PPP, for short. You'd essentially be doing the same thing if you rid yourself of hair by applying strips of electrical tape to your legs and ripping the strips off as hard as you can. Nads does have an advantage though - you can't eat electrical tape.

More later!

Posted by Matt on 11/15/2002. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 96 comments

The TMNT episode review wasn’t up yet when I checked in just now so I re-read Matt’s review of the first episode. I think it contains one of the all time nost hilarious sequences ever on X-E, alongside the "bever fever" sequence and the make-shift Snorks-related Scout song sequence, here it is: We also get a rare shot of the boys without their eyemasks, which make their heads look a lot like bottom-heavy water balloons. It seems weird to see them without the masks, almost like they’re naked or something. I was going to avert my eyes, but I just couldn’t do it. It was all too erotic. Especially with April in the room."

Genius!

Chestnuts roasted by asruidet @ 11/16/2002 11:26 PM


I don’t think that the laser taggish show Aaron was thinking of was Captain Power. There used to be another show that was under the same concept, but you bought video’s. You would have a gun and a sensros that stuck to the corner of the TV and you would shhot at the monsters on the video. There would be different settings on different videos like a submarine, a haunted house and others. For the life of me I can not remember what this think was called, can anyone help me out?

Chestnuts roasted by mindsuckr @ 11/17/2002 12:24 PM


Sweet Dreams…

Chestnuts roasted by Zeke the Plumber @ 11/17/2002 3:18 AM


I love this new updates section. I read it everyday. I remember the first time i found this website. I was doing a Google search for "crappy websites". This was the first one that showed up. Matt equals cool in my book.

Chestnuts roasted by wack0 @ 11/17/2002 11:47 AM


Actually, I’m kind of tired of Madd Matt, but I actually think he’d fare better doing Thanksgiving stuff. How about MM only shows up at non-Halloween holidays? Madd Matt’s Arbor Day, anyone? As for Labrynth, let’s not forget that it also stars Academy Award winner Jennifer Connelly, who had one of the most disturbing scenes in recent memory in the film Requiem for a Dream.

Chestnuts roasted by Francis @ 11/17/2002 12:14 PM


Oh come on now! Am i the only one on earth who used to watch The Adventures of Beans Baxter??? Twin Peaks? Now those are two shows that deserve a review!!! :)

Chestnuts roasted by Ranae @ 11/17/2002 2:01 PM


How can you forget the BEST show ever: MY SECRET IDENTITY!

I mean, what an original show, having the ability to fly and propel yourself with aerosol cans!
AWESOME!

Chestnuts roasted by wack0 @ 11/17/2002 6:11 PM


I’d like to state that though recent, Rocko’s Modern life was the best show Nick ever put out. Also, wasn’t Nona’s father on Pete & Pete played by Iggy Pop?

Does anyone remember this ancient show that Nick used to play about a Mennequin that would come to life when this old Magician put this special felt cap on his head? I can’t remember the name and it’s been bugging me for years,

Chestnuts roasted by Thomas Bombadil @ 11/17/2002 10:22 PM


The show with the mannequin and the hat was "Today’s Special". With muffy the mouse, sam the guard. And so on. I forget the mannequins name now, and same with that girl who for some reason worked after hours…oh wait his name was Jeff.

Chestnuts roasted by Slait @ 11/17/2002 11:25 PM


We took a family trip to Canada when I was really young–I was around 6 yrs. All I remember of the trip is this one time in the hotel room while I was looking out the window one of my parents pointed to this building and told me Today’s Special was filmed there. That’s all I remember of the trip.

They didn’t take me to see the location.

Chestnuts roasted by Eve @ 11/18/2002 1:07 AM


OK Bombadiel are you serious about Rocko’s Modern Life? I’m not saying its bad, its pretty good at times but really its just Nickelodean’s three miliionth attempt to repeat the hilarity and success of its classic boundry pushing, anthropomorphic weird-fest Ren and Stimpy. Ren and Stimpy’s influence can be seen of many cartoons today eg, Angry Beavers, in obvious ways and Dexter’s Lab in the way it likess to prod fun at the all American way of life, but it remains the best. Today’s best cartoons are once again action cartoons, the reign of great children’s comedy cartoons was the early to mid 90s in the wake of Ren and Stimpy and The Simpsons, great cartoons of that era included Eek the cat, The Tick and Animaniacs. Rocko’s holds a candle to none of them.

Chestnuts roasted by asruidet @ 11/18/2002 3:33 AM


Random comments to avoid multiple posts:

Killer Klowns is great stuff (but no Dickies music video on the otherwise-excellent DVD; it’s on most of the VHS editions, for crissakes!!).

Concerning Labyrinth, I believe Matt already commented on Jen Connelly’s demanding role in Requiem for a Dream, in haiku form no less. Rather than search for which article it’s attached to, I think I’ll go check out the Dark Crystal one to see if my favorite part is mentioned (Fizjig’s ear/side-spliting reaction to being told to stay behind – second only to the ‘SQUIRREL!!’ scene in Xmas Vacation for endless looping purposes).

Rocko was indeed inferior to early Ren & Stimpy, but it had a number of truly inspired episodes (the search for Ed Bighead’s estranged son springs to mind). But yes, Eek and Animaniacs were far better, with the Tick leading the pack in my book after the brilliant-yet-doomed Sam & Max.

Pete and Pete moments to remember:
-Artie gives up the superhero biz and takes up a job selling aluminum siding
-Riboflavin is used as a crucial time-travel ingredient during Daylight Savings Time
-We learn that steamed-up car windows equal instant drive-in theatre sex (that may have been the same episode, now that I think of it)

As for Salute Your Shorts, does anyone remember the answer to the radio trivia question none of the kids could answer (What color is a giraffe’s tongue)? I do, as did Ug, but the question is DO YOU?!

Finally (damn, that was long), the ‘cams’ link is great, but I demand MORE KRANG (and more Get a Life, while yer at it)!

Chestnuts roasted by Al @ 11/18/2002 6:03 AM


I think battletoads was a great game. Then again, Marble Madness had to be my all-time favorite, so my views may be considered a little void.

I also saw ‘My Secret Identity" mentioned up there, a good Idea I think, although I can only ever remember him using the aresol cans so he could look into some girls bedroom. And he could only do the can thing because he was lighter than air couldn’t he? When I got old enough I thought that he should just float away or something. (or was he as light AS air? I don’t really know that much about the show, but I’m pretty sure air changes density as you go up, I don’t know how high he could fly. I don’t think it was a very scientific show. end bracket)

Chestnuts roasted by Chris Moller @ 11/18/2002 8:11 AM


A giraffe’s tongue is black, isn’t it? I seem to remember that being the answer from that episode. Or purple, but I think it was black.

And does anyone remember the episode where Sponge got it on with that girl in the phone booth? That put such a smile on my face, seeing that little nerd get some action while the others watched in disbelief. (Wait, now that I think about it, that’s kind of creepy… I wouldn’t want 5 of my friends watching while I made out with some chick. Sponge was a freak!)

So what were your favorite episodes of Pete & Pete? I loved the one where older Pete got a job as a lifeguard at the public pool, and was pitted against young Pete, determined to bring the tyranny of "adult swim" to an end. All that, and a clash with "The Urinator" to boot. Of course, the one where young Pete tried to stay up for a week straight in defiance of the Secret Adult Network was a classic too…

Mom: "So how was the sunrise today?"
Pete: *glaring* "Yesterday’s was better."

And of course, Don Wrigley’s quest to become "KNG OF ROD" (King of the road) rather than "KNG O FROD". Ah, so many joyous memories…

-D

Chestnuts roasted by The Lucky One @ 11/18/2002 12:03 PM


Hey, I was watching an episode of Captain N: Game Master and I was overloaded with memories of another old crappy cartoon. I don’t remember much of anything abot it, but it was an eclectic team of video game characters (I think) that rode around in a monster truck that talked, and one of the characters was a basketball with arms and legs. What the crap was that? Anyone? Anyone?

Chestnuts roasted by Peter @ 11/18/2002 1:47 PM


Bobby Budnik == little Sam from Diff’rent Strokes…

My fave ep of Pete and Pete was when little Pete stayed up all day and night for like a week, with his friends.

Okay, so we remember Captain N…but does anyone remember "Bo Jackson and the Super Sports Stars"? "Wishkid"? "Kids Incorporated"? That Nick show with Grimms Fairy Tales? "Count Duckula" and "Dangermouse"?

Also, I remember vividly watching "Gravedale High" on ABC with those claymation wacky commercial bumpers. Ooh, good times!

Degrassi (Jr and High) rocks. "But Kathleen…we got an honorable mention!" "It’s not GOOD ENOUGH! I wanted to WIN!!" only to have poor Kath faint from not eating…

And of course, there was Wheels hitchhiking and getting picked up by that child molester…

Chestnuts roasted by nuzzles @ 11/18/2002 2:12 PM


The ‘Salute Your Shorts’ Camp Anawana radio question was about a zebra’s tongue color, which is black. Ug answered it, due to his highschool mascot or whatever. How I remember that is eerie. Then there was "Hey Dude", with Ben Stiller’s now-wife. And holy shit…Welcome Freshmen.

Chestnuts roasted by Dane @ 11/18/2002 3:12 PM


This is turning into the new x-e forums!

-salute your shorts: the episode where Budnick and Michael were in the imfirmary all day, and they broke the lock on the fridge to get ice cream. That was great.

Matt, as you can see, we are all Nick babies. Some more articles concerning Classic Nick shows would be awesome!

*HAS ANYONE heard about TNN picking up NEW Ren & Stimpy next year?! WOOHOOO! John K. will be making them too!

Chestnuts roasted by wack0 @ 11/18/2002 3:19 PM


Umm…anyone remember bots master? That was a sort of cool show. He had all those robots and junk…I just thought the rollerblading ninja robot with 3 arms was cool…mmm…not much else to that really.

Chestnuts roasted by Kennef @ 11/18/2002 3:30 PM


New Ren and Stimpy?! Please tell me that’s true! That would be so great. I miss that show so much. They play old episodes on VH1 every once in a while.

Chestnuts roasted by Speedy Service @ 11/18/2002 4:47 PM


yeah, that show with Bo Jackson was called Pro-Stars. Also starring Wayne Gretsky and Michael Jordon. That show confused me into thinking I liked sports. Then I found out that sports have nothing to do with riding around in a plane that looks like a hockey stick. Screw TV.

Chestnuts roasted by Peter @ 11/18/2002 4:51 PM


Christ, anyone see ebay? Full runs of Salute your Shorts are like 50 bucks, that’s a bit pricey for me, but I will probably cave in…

Chestnuts roasted by Casey Jones @ 11/18/2002 6:20 PM


The Adventures of Pete and Pete, Salute Your Shorts, Ren and Stimpy, Rocko’s Modern Life, Hey Dude (I can still sing the theme song to that show), and Welcome Freshmen, which I only slightly remember. What about The Secret World of Alex Mack? I loved that show, too. And then there were those two game shows, Legends of the Hidden Temple and Global Guts. Aaahhh! Nostalgia overload!

While we’re still on the topic of old TV shows, am I just imagining things or did there used to be a show on Nick where these kids could teleport from one place to another? I know I don’t have a big enough imagination to make this up, and I can’t for the life of me remember what it was called.

And it’s good to know that there are other people out there who miss these shows as much as I do.

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica (again) @ 11/18/2002 6:32 PM


i got a shit load of Salute your SHorts episodes off kazaalite (www.kazaalite.com), and i watch em everyday. Just dont attempt to download them if u have a slow connection.

wanna read about the new Ren & Stimpy episodes?? follow this link:
http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,10257,00.html

Chestnuts roasted by wack0 @ 11/18/2002 6:34 PM


Jessica, could u be referring to the nick show: The Tomorrow People?

Chestnuts roasted by wack0 @ 11/18/2002 6:36 PM


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