Click ‘more’ to see the latest batch of reader mail, with the topics ranging on everything from the Incredible Hulk to potatoes. On deck is an episode review of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – it’s actually one I already reviewed, but it was originally done in July of 2000, and it really sucks. I don’t usually like redoing anything I’ve written about, but this is too good of an episode to pass up on just because I once scribbled three-hundred cursewords about it. It’ll be up later today. Now, the questions!
Some more questions from X-E readers, answered as quickly as possible. If you have any inquiries you’d like to see up here, just shoot me an e-mail.
Chaos writes: I have seen the Worst Witch movie four times, while I was not sick or drugged…seriously, my school felt the need to play the thing to me four freaking times. With that said you can understand why I found your worst witch article so hilarious/disturbingly graphic, it drudged up some old trauma that I would have preferred remained buried. However, and I have no idea if anyone has let you in on this yet, but here in Canada, there is an actual worst witch television series, based solely on the material presented in the worst witch motion picture. There is no Tim Curry, and I think the majority of the cast is different, but the production costs are, well, you know the evil dead prequel? Think that, only with maybe an extra twenty bucks. Thought it was my duty to alarm you of this, do what you wish with this information, but use caution, for this shit is horrifically bad.
REPLY: I’ve gotten boatloads of e-mail over the years about The Worst Witch television series – it really, really sucks, but not in the same fun and cheesy way as the movie. Without Tim Curry wearing the pride hang glider and without Mrs. Garrett wearing a pink wig, there’s just no reason to watch it. (read the Worst Witch article here.
Lindsey writes: I was looking at your forum and I read the old ‘Flibber’s article after someone thought you wrote the book yourself. I can’t believe it! I used to have that book and the projects NEVER worked. My damn flibbers were always just shredded up newspaper. They had a project in there that said you could grow a jungle in your room out of a potato and I was naive enough to believe them. It just sprouted and made my room smell.
REPLY: Ha, I tried that ‘craft’ too. My potato didn’t spawn a jungle, but it did turn black and blue. So at least the directions were good if you’re ever making an art film about a married pair of potatoes with an abusive husband potato. Potatoes. Potatoes. (read the original review here.
Jason writes: I only recently (couple of months ago) came across your site and have thoroughly enjoyed it! What I enjoy most is that I’ve actually come across a lot of the stuff you review even before finding your site! I have had a friend that’s addicted to Kinder eggs and gets them in Canada on a regular basis. Her ONLY reason for going. That and growing up in the era that most your reviewed items hail from sometimes brings back memories that I just don’t need. . . The things I grew up playing with or eating. The things I still have laying around haunting my junk drawer (damn M.U.S.C.L.E guys are still with me and at times I think they’re plotting revenge for allowing my Stormtroopers and AT AT drivers to play “kick the baby” with them…)
Anyhoo, I came across this today actually and it is just disturbing the unholy crap out of me. The freakish thing’s mesmerizing for some reason. You see, my big thing growing up, and to some degree now still, were comic book based action figures. Mostly, they never were very good, but still got lots of play. I’m picky about my comics, but not the toys. I love ‘em. The picture is a prototype for the new Hulk figures they’re making for the new movie. Now, its just my opinion, but I do believe this is the scariest toy I have ever seen! And my sister collected Strawberry Shortcake mercilessly. What’s scarier. . . I don’t want the finished toy. I want this prototype. I can’t explain it either; call it morbid fascination, sleep depravation, or that all my action figures ended up with mixed parts anyways and this one COMES THAT WAY! Well, they say a picture is worth a thousand word (or however long this email is). Keep up the awesome job on X Entertainment, here’s the picture:
REPLY: Looks pretty nice, actually. I’m not looking forward to the Hulk movie at the same level I was with Spider-Man or X-Men, but I’m sure I’ll still be there on opening night. I think Hulk would have to be a tougher project to make ‘hip’ – my hunch is that they’re gonna make it even more tongue-in-cheek than Spider-Man. Otherwise, it could come off pretty poorly. In any event, as for your new favorite figure – I’ve always wondered if toy sculptors become embarrassed when they get to the figure’s groin section. Maybe we should ask the Four Horsemen?
Mike writes: (On National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation…) Hi Matt, We have been fans of this movie forever…we watch it each Christmas day and every time I get together with my sister and nephew Matt, even in the summer…when my children were small and my in-laws did not know of the movie I asked my daughter, then just nine, to say grace at the big Thanksgiving dinner, and we went from there…it was hilarious…we decorate the house like Clark, we kick our Santa, we even have a Santa kicking contest, we say, “Real nice” all year long…and on and on….anyway, I found and ordered eight of the moose mugs this year, they should arrive today, and my sister and nephew are coming for Christmas this year for the first time, from Mass. to Okla.,and I want to surprise everyone with the moose mugs and give myself, my son, age 23 and my nephew, age 19, Eddie clothes to wear on Christmas day…I found a place to order the black dickies…I figure I can get the white shoes at a Tux shop…but I don’t know where or how I’m going to get the light blue polyester pants and I’m having no luck yet getting the white v-neck sweaters, even Land’s End doesn’t have that kind of a sweater, so you can see, I need your help…if you know where I can get the pants and the sweaters, please let me know…
REPLY: How would I know where to buy sweaters like the ones Randy Quaid wore in a Christmas movie from 1990? Actually, I do know. But I won’t tell you unless you send me a moose mug. I love those things.
Kevin writes: I was reading your review for Basket Case, and I noticed two things were, well, wrong. For one, in the tenth paragraph, you refer to Duane as ‘Kevin,’
and for another, in the ‘dead body rape’ scene pics, you clearly TRIED to cover up the nipples, but missed by about a mile. My question is, HOW THE HELL TO MISS WHERE THE NIPPLES ARE???? Not that I mind, I’ve seen worse… but, still, it woke me up a little. Now, you’re probably not going to fix it, so why did I write to you? Because I want to spam your mail box. Good day.
REPLY: Whoops. I’m pretty sure that’s the only nipple shot on X-E, if you discount Hulk Hogan. I’m not sure how I missed them. Maybe it was subconsciously intentional. Porn sells. Even if half the mating party is a puppet of a disfigured Siamese twin. Somebody’s gotta have that fetish.
Dan writes: I liked you’re summing up on the Daphne Zuniga science fiction monster follow up to THE FLY. My question is: If you’ve done you’re own review of the sequel, then are you making a review of the Goldblum film?
REPLY: I really love both Fly movies – I chose the second for a review because I assumed more people haven’t seen it and would thus be a little curious. The difference between the two is that the sequel was an entertaining bad movie, while the first was an entertaining good movie. I own both, so I could review The Fly at any time. I’m sure I will one day, but that’s the kind of movie I really want to be on my game for if I’m writing about it. I’d hate to do a shitty review on such a modern horror classic. Everything I’m saying here is bullshit, of course. I just don’t want to watch Jeff Goldblum vomit on a Twinkie ever again. (read the Fly II review here.
Naomi writes: I have been an avid fan of X-E for 3 months now; it has rekindled long forgotten memories about aspects of my childhood, plus it is the most interesting site I have ever seen. Keep up the great work and thank you for bringing a humorous, interesting, and all around wonderful site to the net. I have a question for you regarding a television show that originated in the mid 80s amongst the Nintendo hullabaloo. I can vaguely remember the credits. It is a young boy playing his Nintendo when something happens that causes him to go into the “Nintendo” world. I remember the episodes revolved around certain set Nintendo characters with others from the other games having guest appearances. The part I remember most was the huge talking
gameboy that accompanied the main character through his exploits. I know you must get a barrage of emails of day, but if there is any chance you can clear this up I’d appreciate it.
REPLY: Finally, an easy one. That’d be Captain N: The Game Master. Characters from a lot of games appeared – Kid Icarus, Punch-Out, Metroid, you name it. Here, check this article out – it’s got Captain N teaming up with Link and Zelda – click here.
Steph writes: I didn’t think your comic was too bad. I’d say you could do worse. But then I’m pretty biased towards anything involving the Silver Surfer.
REPLY: I told you guys not to challenge me – I can surely do worse.
See?
Tricia writes: I just had to mail, I saw an advert for NADS on a shopping channel – yes u got it I have no life – I missed the telephone number so went on the net to see if I could find it. Your page made me pee myself laughing – BUT does it work?
REPLY: Making people urinate is definitely the opus. As for your question – I didn’t like wax myself or anything, but I’d have to say that this is a pretty poor product. PPP, for short. You’d essentially be doing the same thing if you rid yourself of hair by applying strips of electrical tape to your legs and ripping the strips off as hard as you can. Nads does have an advantage though – you can’t eat electrical tape.
More later!
Posted by Matt. E-mail me!
Ghosted by 
Had an unexpectedly busy weekend. Great comments guys, nice to see everyone participating. If I sound cheesy it’s because I’m currently affixing Christmas lights to every square inch of the apartment and I feel like a stubblier Martha Stewart.
I know the last thing you need is another movie recomendation, but do you think sometime you could write a review of Killer Klowns From Outer Space? It’s kind of hard to get a hold of. I looked for it on amazon.com and for reasons I’ll probably never understand, they only sell the Spanish version. It’s worth tracking down, though, if only for the. . .interesting. . .theme song by some Orange County punk band called The Dickies. Oh, and of course "the big clown" at the end (wait, maybe I’m giving away too much).