I want to try something a little different - past article spotlights. Several people had suggested that I 'rerun' older articles on slow weeks, or weeks when I'm too busy eating chicken, but I dunno, I don't really think that's for me. It's not that I'm above recycling my own content, I just don't particularly like the older stuff versus the newer stuff. If I write an article today, I'll read it in a week and find ten things I wish I would've written differently. It doesn't bug me too much, since I'm sure I'm the only person in the world critiquing X-E articles from 2001. Still, I wouldn't throw the same articles up on the main page and pass it off as your new material for the day.

That said, I've written hundreds of articles, and for assorted reasons, some get lost in the shuffle. With the two I'm spotlighting today, it was purely my fault. Both these were written during X-E's 'down period,' where I wouldn't update for weeks on end, sometimes leaving a gap of over a month between articles. I had just moved into a new apartment, and my life had become sort of busy and very messy - doing the site was just about the last thing on my mind. Still, every once and again it'd hit me that I wanted to write about something. So, in the midst of being totally broke with a lot of bills and laying on the floor of my living room with a bottle of Jose Cuervo, somehow these two were piped out:

The Chilling Chinchilla Tale: When people become kinda destitute, they look for things to take their minds off their pathetic lives. In my case, I took cash that would've been better served for new car tires before winter struck, and what did I do with it? Bought a stupid chinchilla. The rat cost over a hundred bucks itself, but add in the cage, food, water bottle, pellet dish, dust bath, and whatever else, the total bill was well over 200. Just to make sure I was acting foolish, I bought several fish on the same trip and then had the pleasure of transporting all these animals from the store to my car, by myself. Making matters worse, my landlord didn't allow pets, so I had to sneak all this shit past their front door. I did get an article out of it, though! By the way, I've gotten a few e-mails on this: yes, the chinchilla is still alive. No, I'm not having sex with it.

Guinness Beer's Special Secret: The articles where I 'make toys talk' are easily some of my favorites, because they surprise me. Even after I take the pictures, it's not until I sit down and type the shit out that I have any idea where the story's going to go. Spontaneity can be just as important as anything else when it comes to writing, and while I don't think this article was one of the best I've done like it, it's certainly spontaneous. Problem was, I'm not sure everyone 'got it.' The premise was that Guinness beer cans actually did have ping pong ball inside 'em as a 'floatation device' or something. I didn't just pretend they were in there for the sake of weirdness. Still, the only readers who could've actually connected with this story on any true level were the ones who, at one point, sliced open their empty beer cans with a box cutter to see what was inside. I guess I overestimated how many people actually did things like that. Mah bad.

Enjoy. Click 'more' to see some reader mail on recent articles...

Article Feedback:

Jim from Phantasmo writes: I know you're a toy freak, but maybe you dumbed down the Bootleg Wrestler post for people.. Either way.. I know the real origins of like, all that shit in there.

- Chilla - Jerry Lynn's ECW figure body, no clue on the head
- Whitey - Sandman's ECW figure, no clue on the head
- Appleseed - Mike Motherfucking Awesome's ECW figure with a dye job, apparently
- Animal - Ballz Mahoney's ECW figure, same head deal as the rest..

- Belt - I have no fucking idea
- Underground - Raven's ECW figure
- Boris and TNKane - Beats me.

All of the accessories are from WWF figures, except the crate, I think that's from the ECW line. The stereo equipment is actually a vertical speaker that came with a couple different WWF playsets. Of course, if you knew all of this already, just disregard the email. I know too much useless shit.

Reply: Johnny Underground does look sort of like Raven, now that I look at him again. Though if it was Raven, shouldn't the figure have come with a trash can lid and an 8x10 of Roddy Piper?

Symptom writes: First off, I just read that Mortal Kombat animated series review. It brought up the question of another MK animated series. There was. It aired on USA about 4 years ago when they still had Saturday Morning Cartoons. It took placed during the MK3 game's time period. You know, when the gate opened and there's all hell on earth. It's more like GI Joe, but with super powers.

Question about an animated series in late 80's early 90's: There was this one cartoon I've been trying to figure out the name of for quite some time now. It was about these knights that had animal insignias on their sheilds/armor and we're able to summon that animal out of that sheild/armor. The toys themselves had holograms on the knight's chests with that certain animal on them. I know this is a real series and it was only out for a season or too. It's not King Arthur and the Knights of Justice, they summoned weapons. It was a different series and I can't remember the name. If you know what it was called it would be much appreciated.

Reply: I sure do remember that show, and the toys....

It was called 'Visionaries'.

DR writes: Christopher Lambert was originally all set to do the sequel. Except for one small problem: When Lambert found out that the Raiden character was scripted into fight scenes for the 2nd movie, Lambert fled. Lambert just didn't want to do fight scenes and after failed attempts to get things changed, he just turned down the role.

Reply: That's interesting. Didn't know that was the reason, but if it kept Lambert away from the sequel, it's a-okay with me.

Mario writes: I'm writing in regard of the background that you used for your recent wrestling article (11/3/02). The pink head with the blue star in the middle of his face. It stuck me as familiar but I cannot remember where it's from. Could you let me know?

Reply: I made that graphic using an image from Nintendo's old 'Pro-Wrestling' game. The guy with the star on his head was creatively known as 'Starman.'

That's all for now, stay tuned to the main page - G.I. Joe article going up a bit later.