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Get ready. You're about to meet a purple hero with spots.![]() Despite Scorch's gaining lead, the gang decides that it's more important to help the sad, nameless, trapped purple dinosaur than save a new Kool-Aid flavor. K, so it's more important to save a dinosaur than a Kool-Aid flavor, but it's less important to avoid risking the lives of eighty youths by traveling through time than to save a Kool-Aid flavor. The Kool-Aid Man's convictions totally funk my spit up. Purplesaurus Rex thanks everyone for their help, speaking for the first time in his life. Poor thing never had anyone to talk to before, but don't feel bad: It's not because he didn't have any friends, it's because no other dinosaurs can talk. I wish he'd stop it with the pity party. This guy's got it made. ![]() I'm not really understanding why everyone refers to "Purplesaurus Rex" as a single word in the comic, but it's certainly not that way on the packages. We're going to ignore this and only refer to it/him in the traditional way. Don't try to convince me otherwise, I won't budge. After hearing about the evil things Scorch has done (stealing a piece of looseleaf paper is right up there with fucking genocide), Purplesaurus Rex offers his help. Since a giant fruit punch pitcher ducked a zillion years into the past just to save him from drowning in a three-inch puddle of mud, it's the least he can do. ![]() As the heroes embark on a Scorch-seeking mission, the villain in question finally discovers enough free time to try burning the new formula. Ummmmmm. I can think of a thousand ways this whole time traveling thing could've been avoided, but the first-most idea is the simplest: Why didn't Scorch just hold the damn formula to his skin the second he picked it up? Viola. Scorch begs off Purplesaurus Rex in what is absolutely my favorite panel in comic book history, featuring the two greatest lines ever penned: "PLEASE DON'T EAT ME, MR. DINOSAUR," and "Scorch doesn't know Purplesaurus Rex only eats vegetables!" How they managed to pack that much wondrousity into a single tiny panel makes me feel inadequate both as an artist and a human being, but before we shed tears, let's find out if Scorch dies or if Purplesaurus Rex reverts to type and eats everyone. ![]() The Kool-Aid Man ignores eons of evolutionary logic by inviting Purplesaurus Rex back to the Wacky Warehouse, a friendly extend met with much appreciation and instant yessing. Scorch, fearful of the admittedly scary-looking dinosaurs about to taste his fire, joins the party at the last second before the time portal closes forever more. ![]() As Purplesaurus Rex marvels at the Warehouse's assorted motifs, the gang catches Scorch trying to make his way through the time tunnel back to Party Central. Kool-Aid Man, sinister to the juicy core, hatches a devilish plan that'll grant him both revenge and a straight ticket to Hell... ![]() With the flip of a switch, Kool-Aid Man sends Scorch to the Ice Age to "chill out." That's harsh. Things end off like they should, with Kool-Aid Man naming his retrieved new formula after the dinosaur who somehow made it all possible. On this day, Purplesaurus Rex Kool-Aid was born. The next day, another few flavors. But they had nothing to do with dinosaurs. |

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