I'm not sure how to open this one off -- I want to claim that there's some hidden thread that connects the following forty-thousand miniature reviews of various Star Wars items, but there really isn't. What you'll be seeing in just a few moments is...well, it's just a big pile of Star Wars crap. Figural erasers, wallets, magnets, night lights -- things of the household nature. What strikes me immediately here is an understanding why us grew-up-on-Star Wars nuts became so passionate about it: it was everywhere in our lives. It was to the point where our watches, our school supplies and even our magnifying glasses had some kind of Star Wars branding on it, and suddenly, it all just kinda disappeared. It was like losing a family member, a really, really geeky family member. I have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about.

Prepare for a sci-fi smorgasbord of vintage Star Wars-related doodads, knick-knacks, novelties and serious birthday cake candles. Thirty different odd hunks of junk are featured, originally selling for peanuts from 1980-1983. Though fun to play with, interesting to look at and just generally great tools to pick up hot women with, pretty much nothing here has any notable value on the collector's market. They barely sell for more than their original retail, which was much lower than you'd expect twenty years back. I had at least one of every type of item down below -- chances are, most fans of or around my age of fifty-three did as well. So go ahead, go, go and look. View the glorious spread and be merry, but be sure you click on the ones that seem particularly cool, thus summoning the gods of virtuality and making cutely sized windows pop up that'll tell you all about the product that calls for you so. Haha, Dak died.

-- Matt (2/18/2005)

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